~Lessons Learned~

This happens when you move away from you!  Have you ever found yourself asking "why"?  Or is this really all there is?  I'm not happy where I'm at, but I don't know of anything really that will make me happy.  So I guess I will just make the best of where I'm at?  I was re-reading some journal entries and found I have felt like this ALOT!  I wrote about the feeling.  About how nothing really seemed to give me joy.  How I felt as though I was alone as the world went on around me.  How I so desperately wanted to get out of this feeling, but for the time being, I guess I would just have to deal. I'm glad to say I'm not there currently (yay-I hate that feeling), but realized during my life I have felt so alone even when surrounded by so many.  I continued to read hoping that I had written "my solution" to what helped me so that I could share it with others.  And lo and behold, I stumbled across positive entries.  I changed my way of thinking,

I shall pray to live my life right.  To focus on others strengths and not dwell on their weaknesses.  To be compassionate to everyone.  To live life to the fullest.  To care for others.  To control my anger and temper.  To lend my hand.  To direct my ego to take a back seat to my soul.  To step up to wrongs and try to make them right.  To take the first step to forgive and move on.  To always show love and support to my family and friends.  To admit when I'm wrong and work even harder.  Today is the day I better my inner workings by also bettering my outer surroundings.  I won't look for fault - I will look for solutions.  I will work with others and myself instead of against them.  I will forgive myself for my shortcomings.  I shall pray each day to live true to me!

You know the one.  It's the one you put on when you are trying to hide what is really going on inside.  It has half a smile, an attempt at twinkle in your eye.  (My mask has always been the opposite---the one with a frown and squinting eyes).  Either way they are both used for the same thing to try to throw people off from your pain, guilt, sadness, loneliness, etc., etc.  Whichever mask you use, your true friends, people who care about you can see right through them.  These are the people we try to avoid knowing that one word or even that sincere look they give us will make the mask come off and the pain surface.  Sometimes when it gets really bad-we subconsciously seek them out-searching, yearning for someone to help with the pain, but not knowing how to ask.  The funny thing about this concept, the mask only "hides" the emotion for a period of time.  It never makes it go away and never makes it get better.  Sweeping your emotions under the carpet, never cleans the

It's early morning, my eyes are heavy, the coffee is brewing and I find that I just had myself a light bulb moment.  While they can be powerful, they can also be very humbling.  For me so many times, my light bulb moment comes with the realization I don't know everything!!!  And yes mom, this has to do with my sweet angel. My daughter is my pride and joy.  I have a hard time letting go-(I knew this several years ago).  Like any other parent I want nothing but the best for her.  Yet sometimes my stubbornness gets in the way of seeing what I think she needs and what she really needs are two different things.  I usually push her out of the way as I go for it.  She smiles that ever so loving half smile, silently scolding me in the most love able way for once again "getting in the way".  Now don't get me wrong, she talks to me, she cries to me, but the thing I noticed is all I need to do is "be there" when she needs to come to me.  She knows what she wants

I'm in the process of manifesting a new home, a new job (I've always wanted to be a writer) and as I write this blog, I see them clear as day. Is there something in your life you desire?  Something you have dreamed about, but figured that is all it would ever be is a dream?  That your dreams are elusive, always in front of you and no matter how hard you try you never seem to catch up to them?  Well change your mind and you will have anything you want.  Don't chase it, stop, focus and believe and it will come to you.  HOWEVER, do not miss out on the opportunities. During the past year, I have manifested a new vehicle, my father moving home and the one of the coolest things,  I called a friend asked her if she wanted help in manifesting a baby (she had been trying for a long time).  Her immediate answer YES!!!  We began, I sent her a link from the Internet that said she would be pregnant in six weeks and she is now 8 weeks along----Congratulations!  The key to manifestati

I find it interesting who I give my time to and why.  I select people that I think are on the same page as me, as time goes on, I find they aren't even in the same book. I have learned through experience that some people impersonate understanding, compassion or concern, all along trying to convince me they have my best interest at heart.  But yet when the moment calls for them to demonstrate these qualities through action or behavior, then I experience abandonment, rejection betrayal.....along with insensitivity and neglect. I realize that when this happens, the experience defines them not me (except for the part of me that allowed them access to me).  I also have learned that in order for me to gain understanding, I must continue to open my heart to others, that is, if I want to stop hurting.  We shut our hearts and shut others out thinking we are protecting ourselves, when we are on guard we are defensive.  We become unapproachable and unavailable, we look for and often find

Well Christmas came and went (thank god).  I watched as gifts were exchanged, thought put into some, the obligation of Christmas prompting others..  I sat and wondered isn't this what it's all about?  Giving?  Yet, as I opened another gift, it just seemed like something was missing.  That one "gift" that was given that didn't cost anything.  You know the one I'm talking about?  The one that comes straight from the heart the one that reminds you what Christmas is really about.  Giving of our heart.  The day was nearing an end and I had all but forgotten about Christmas, until I received a message.  It was from a dear person in my life who is currently fighting (strike that) working through change in her life.  The change included a key person in her life to not be there on this Christmas day.  I watched as she went through the day with a "numbness" about her, yet always with a smile for anyone that needed it.  I figured the holidays are tough enough a

I have received emails for automatic writings and I want to thank those that have given me the trust and opportunity to write for you.  I have had others ask for more information.  I sat to do one for my daughter and knew that I was to share part of it with all of you. This is part of her writing. December 23, 2011-Lonee As I write the angels sing.   The harps play fast and feverishly.   The trumpets sound and the clouds part.   The awakening is you.   You are at the center.   You rise from a chair and your long brown hair flows to your waist.   You smile and reach out your hand.   As I write for you, you talk to me from above.   Your gentle ways calm the inner anxiousness that I feel.   You smile and the sun radiates behind you.   You speak to me:   I am fine for I am me.   I want for nothing but happiness and love for all I know.   As I am human I make human mistakes, but rest assure my soul is pure and follows righteousness.   I have never ending patience and everlasting love.  

I have a few people in my life right now that I feel deliberately find things/people to distract them from "themselves".  I call this creating a deliberate distraction.  The ability to wrap ourselves up in making others happy, safe, content, trying to wipe out their fears.  In the meantime, we let ourselves down (in reality you are letting all around you down as well).  The best way to help others is to be honest with yourself and help yourself first.  It is okay to have desires (your own), it is okay to "mess up".  Screwing up in life is what helps us grow.  It is okay to be human.  Remember you can't make others happy.  Sometimes the hardest thing in life is stepping away from all outside influences and doing what makes you happy WITHOUT any guilt attached.  When you find things to distract yourself from your own inner feelings, they don't go away, they just continue to grow.  You will find they either surface physically or emotionally.  They have to be

Today for some reason I am overwhelmed with joy!!!  It fills up my heart and expands my chest.  I am so thankful for the loving and wonderful people in my life.  I couldn't ask for anything more.  My life is full and rich.  The one person that keeps me smiling through everything and excited to see what is coming next!!!  I love you Lonee with all my heart and soul.  Thank you for always showing me by example how to be true to you!!  You are truly one of the most beautiful people I know inside and out!!!!

I'm Sorry.........Two words often said without meaning.  So many times we feel if we say the words then the meaning is automatic.  The meaning is expressing sympathy, pity or regret.  While it is a start, it is definitely two words that I have found over the years really have no impact on me when said after someone has hurt me.  I found that I would even flippantly use the word, sometimes just saying oh sorry, not even using I and taking responsibility.  It was more like I was giving myself the "out" to exhibit bad manners or act careless.  Almost as if sorry followed my action, then it excused my action and basically allowed me to repeat it.  I remember when that changed.  My daughter came home late one night, as I was standing at the top of the stairs waiting (God I sound like my mother), she walked up to me and said I know I'm late, I'm sorry and walked past me.  It was then I received my light bulb moment.  How many times had I come home late from work and d

I have been doing a few of these lately.  This is where I meditate and write whatever comes to me about a person (s).  Pretty interesting writings lately.  I'm getting better everday.  If you would like an automatic writing, email me your name and dob to mrosetapia@gmail.com .  :) UPDATE:   12/18-1:21 - I love double numbers!!! I've received some requests for automatic writings and will begin my first today.  It is for a dear friend, I can't wait. I was asked for more information on automatic writings (at least this is what I call them).  An automatic writing to me is information that comes to me (spiritually) for a person or situation.  I usually go ino a state of meditation and write what comes.  It comes so fast I make a lot of spelling errors (LOL).  When I'm finished I usually don't remember everything that was written, but it sure is alot of spiritual guidance.  I love to do it and so far, the people I have done them for sure like to receive them.  Thanks

Selfish - concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others - Webster Dictionary. Hmmm.............As I sit with my cup o coffee and I read the above definition, I realize how many words spawn from it.  When one becomes selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed, etc., it is very easy to hurt others.  Very easy to use and discard people as though they are yesterday's garbage as my mother says.  Easy to lie and manipulate to get what they desire.  (OH HOW I DESPISE LIARS).  Easy to become a monster.  I realize it is a natural instinct to take care of yourself and I will be the first to encourage others to take care of you first and foremost, HOWEVER, not at the expense of others.  You can be selfish with manners, compassion, and tact.  Yes, I have been the victim as well as the perpetrator of selfishness and neither side is healthy when done with the ego.  Both cause pain, sorr

Do you take responsibility for your actions and thoughts?  Or do you blame others?  For so long blaming someone or something else made my irresponsible choices easier to accept.  Things like, I was mean to her, because she was, said or did this, this, or that.  Funny how we figure if we blame someone else we are right and therefore our mean, cruel actions are justified.  Oh, how wrong we are!!!!  The failure to take responsibility for your own actions (or thoughts) is what will bring Karma around real quick.  I'm here to tell you when you sit with yourself and analyze a situation/relationship and take the time to "own" everything that is yours, it will free you and make you grow.  Just like you I have blamed someone else for my sorrow, pain, anger, distrust, etc. and have felt it grow in my chest.  Others will listen and when I put my spin on it by blaming someone else, others seem to help me justify just how much of a victim I am.  EXCEPT, two people in my life.  These

(If this resonates with you.....then it was written for you :) ) DON'T waste one more minute of your life not living for you.  You are never guaranteed another day.  You can't take your money with you when you die and you don't get another chance to tell someone you love them, you're sorry, or just how much they mean to you.  Seize the moment now and begin to fulfill your dreams.  Make that call that can change your life by telling someone you love them or miss them.  They are probably waiting to hear from you.  Remember each minute you put off, making excuses, life continues on and you can never get that minute back.  Live life each minute the way YOU want with love in your heart.  You'll never go wrong.  

My daughter and I came up with a really cool concept for the 12 days of Christmas.  Sorry should have posted this yesterday, but no worries, it can be started any time during the year.  Since this time of the year can be difficult, we decided we were going to start the 12 days of positive emotional sending Christmas.  Each morning when we get up we provide positive emotional thoughts to ourselves, each other and (we chose one other person).  So basically this is how it goes: I wake up, take time to clear the cobwebs out of my mind.  Then I send through my mind and heart (I say it out loud with conviction/belief in my thoughts) something like: To myself I express this positive gift.......(and then whatever positive thought I want to give myself).  example, yesterday:  That I will be healthy and happy.  (Haven't been feeling to well lately).  This changes everyday or it can be the same positive thought, whatever you want to express or feel that day!!! To my sweet Lonee I expr

I have a friend who is very dear to my heart and whom I love with every ounce of my being.  This ones for you! Overwhelm has both a negative and a positive meaning.  One can be overwhelmed with joy or overwhelmed with fear, sadness, despair.  Usually when I hear the word overwhelmed it is followed by a negative noun. It is especially important during this time that we take time for ourselves.  Even if that means penciling in a bath every night.  Life can be so over powering.  At times, feeling like it just sucks you in and you're just waiting for it to spit you out.  Feeling as though you just want to give up.  Like everyone and everything is two steps in front of you and you can't catch up.  Trying to please everyone around you, except yourself.  Trying so hard to be what you think others want you to be.  Trying your damnest to do what is right, but losing touch with what is right and what is wrong.  Feeling pulled in so many directions. Even when we sit with ourselves our

  It's not what you have went through that defines your character, it is how you handle yourself before, during and especially AFTER .   You can make the biggest mistake, error, wrong choice, hurting people along the way, being self-serving, (blah, blah, blah), it's all about seeing it and changing it within.  It is never too late to come back to you! I was asked to write on the topic of Believing in Yourself.  What does it mean to me?  It means even in the toughest of times, you dig deep inside and believe you are worthy and deserving of all that is good in your life.  It is so easy to let others make us believe we are who they say we are.  But by doing this you give others YOUR power.  Have you ever been hurt by someone so deeply that you begin to doubt yourself?  This is the time when you must remain focused and true to yourself.  Surround yourself with people who believe in you, people who love you and bring out the good in you.  There will be challenges in your life an

Wow, how lucky we are to have such loyal friends as our pets.  So many times I have come home from a stressful day at work to have Diesel, Lola and our newest addition P. Floyd sitting at the top of the stairs ready to shower me with excitement and wet kisses.  It never seems to amaze me how just being in their presence makes me happy.  One of my favorite pics! DIESEL-turns two today, 12/10.  Happy Birthday Big D.  He is a beautiful dog with so much personality.  He is so loving and sweet unless you are a car, then he will chase you along the fence line.  I truly believe he races them.  He loves to go for rides and loves treats.  He is also a very sensitive little guy.  I truly believe he sees and senses spirits.  He knows when people are "out of whack", especially Lonee.  He will follow her around and quietly sit nearby watching her until his presence lightens her mood.  He is one good dog.  Love me some Diesel.   LOLA:  Sweet, sweet Lola.  She is a very jealous do

Stand strong.  Take a deep breath and move forward.  Let all of the ugliness of the past dissipate and fall away.  Close your eyes and envision your life as you want it to be.  See all the love and beauty that awaits you.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Make it count and start it fresh.  Listen to your heart as you move through the day, reach out your hand to someone who is need.  Reach out with a kind word to someone who longs to hear the words from you.  Turn those kind words inward and tell yourself you are worthy and deserving.  No matter how much doubt clouds your mind, you are deserving.  Surround yourself with goodness and love.  Picture yourself with a smile on your face and know that that there is nothing you can't achieve.  Don't waste one more minute waiting for life to come to you.  Grab it , embrace the love that awaits you.  It is as easy as changing your mind to the possibility.  For you ANYTHING is possible.

Courage is deciding NOT to put your current desires above your desires for the future. Courage is deciding there's something more important. Courage is the foundation of integrity.  Living each day takes a lot of courage, hell sometimes getting out of bed takes courage.  Courage is encouraged by fear.  When you are hurting, confused, sad, or lonely, it is often so easy to "sit" in the feeling.  Numb to everything else, figuring I dug this hole and now I must wallow in it.  But if you look behind you, you will find you have dug many holes and you no longer sit in them.  Somehow, you found the courage to climb out.  Some not as big as others, and you know you will continue to dig more.  BUT, the great thing is in an instance you can choose to muster the courage and climb up, out and move forward.  It's that easy and that quick. Change your mind, change your attitude and change your location. And with each step, a sense of satisfaction and joy begins to swell in your

Treat other's as you would want to be treated.  Karma is only a bitch if you are!!!!  (God how I wished I would have known this years ago!) If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.  If you don't ask, the answer is always no.  If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes a lesson that we think we teach others can come back to us over and over again? What do I mean by that?  Well let me explain by sharing another lesson that this time I taught (notice the bold----rarely do I do the teaching) my daughter.  Don't get too excited for me, I was able to teach it and then she was able to use it many times over later in life on me.  Sometimes I'm great at not practicing what I preach.  When this happens, my beautiful little Angel nudges me and with a dose of humility my clouded way of thinking is much clearer. This time she was much younger, I think eight maybe.  Both her father and I worked and that meant daycare for her.  On this particular day, after picking her up I noticed a slight difference in her, a slight air of arrogance.  Maybe she had colored the best picture in the class that day I thought and the praise from the teacher had gone to her head.  I dismissed it, until she told me of her day.  There was

Forgiveness is a word I have struggled with for years.  Is it a thought or an action?  The dictionary shows it to be a noun.  One definition I really like:  giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me.   For so long, the only way for me to forgive was first and foremost vengeance.  An eye for an eye.  You hurt me, I'll hurt you twice as bad.  It will be over and we will move on.  HA!  Little did I know, it fueled hatred and distain in my heart.  There was never forgiveness and there was never really any way for forward movement.  I remained stuck and created more pain than was there before.  But when bad "things" stay bottled up, they have a way of finding ugly ways to come out, whether it is physical ailments, karma kicking your ass AGAIN, or loneliness.  I have experienced all of them.  Still do, but not as much.  It wasn't until God looked down through the clouds at the huge chip I carried ever so proudly on my shoulder and shook his head in disgust.  "Re