~Lessons Learned~

I was asked to write on Loyalty!!!  To me it is a word that gets stomped on a lot.  Loyalty, integrity, character~morals.  Are you loyal?  To yourself, your spouse, your friends?  I know people who are the most trustworthy, forgiving, loving people in the world-loyal to the end.  When they say they love you-you feel it deep inside AND they show it by being concerned about your well-being.  They trust you with everything, their secrets, their fears, their dreams and in return trust that you know you can trust them.  They forgive=now they might get mad, frustrated and/or even disappointed, but once the emotion passes they forgive.  They are the ones you can count on and even if you call at a bad time asking for help, you'd never know it.  They are the ones you want on your side.  They are the ones that keep promises and if they can't they feel horrible as they never want to cause others pain.  They are the ones that will stick up for you.  I read somewhere and I agree loyal peop

I was asked yesterday.............. I've messed up so badly...........how do I make it right?   (The words were a little bit harsher, but you get the idea). First thing I asked. What is it that you think you have done? Answer:  Well I've hurt people, I've disappointed them, I've let them down.   Answer:  Okay, yes you have. Those are facts, glad to see you recognize them.  I was interrupted with the following victim nonsense. "But I have been living in guilt, shame and punishing myself over and over because of it, yet nothing seems to change."  Hmmmmm, I thought at first I was little put out because I had a great answer and I was cut off, but then the words of "feel sorry for me" started to settle in.  (NO, I do not feel sorry for people that deliberately hurt others (especially those they profess to love).  Even though I was part of that hurt, I knew it was more beneficial to everyone to not fall into the victim mode myself, but to stay focused. 

ANSWER: NO Do you look to society and family/friends to define who you are?  Do you yearn so much to "fit" in (regardless if that is in your career, your circle of friends, your family, society)?  Do you care about what others will think of you? Do you have to keep up with the Jones'?  (for you young readers that simply means comparison to another as a benchmark for material goods?).  Do you have to out do others?  Do you lie?  Do you hurt others in order to get what you want?  Do you use people?  Do you push loved ones away to ease your guilty conscience? Do you try hard to impress everyone?  Do you blame others for your choices?  Are you materialistic?  Do you judge people on what they look like and how many toys they have?  Do you feel sorry for yourself?  Do you make excuses?  Are you stuck in the past?  Do you play games? Do you mistreat people?  Do you pick and choose when people are convenient to fit into your life?  Are you selfish?  Are you all about YOU? 

 

When you make a choice.................there is always a consequence!!! So of course, it is important to think before making an important decision.  This is true in all aspects of your life............run that red light, your consequence could be a speeding ticket-(is it worth it)?  Step on and use people to get to the top?  You will pay for that as well.  We are all free to make decisions (and usually important ones are made from an emotional state of mind) depression, sadness, fear, etc., even happiness, joy, excitement.  Usually when this type of decision is made, it never seems to work out the way you planned.  Wow, the purchase of that new car seemed just like the thing to make me happy, that promotion at work that I didn't deserve but used the backs of others to get, is definitely going to finance my new lifestyle.  Basically Karma-when you make decisions from a negative or self-serving state of mind, you receive negative consequences, sooner or later.  You may control

Hmm....today I have seen and heard so much on bullying, I decided to research the subject and then to write my feelings.  The more I see and read about kids and bullying, the more I could see the same behavior in adults.  Do adults really bully?  Of course they do, where do you think the children learn it!!!  It is a learned behavior. When bullies bully, it has nothing to do with you!!!! BY ALL MEANS.......DON'T TAKE IT!!   Are you the bully or the victim in your relationships?  I ran across a list of bullies.  Check it out and see if you relate........ ·   The Rage Bully -the one that has frequent outbursts, can be very unpredictable, scary and violent. Source :  Usually a parent that would fly off the handle not knowing how to handle stress,  disappointment, etc.   ·   The Name-Calling Bully -the one that uses terms like four eyes, puts others down;   clothing, appearance, abilities. Source:   from a parent that knew exactly what name or put down would

Love is a state of being...............it is what each of us are made of and what resides inside.  It is exhibited by acts of kindness, compassion, forgiveness, strength, empathy, joy, peace, and everything positive.  Love does not hurt, but is definitely a word that is used loosely, often tossed around and bastardized.  Take for an example a man that hits his woman, is emotionally abusive to her, yet afterwards professes his love...................again love doesn't hurt, physically or mentally or emotionally.  Love feels your chest with happiness.  Love is your God given right, as that is exactly what you were made from ------ LOVE!  So if love resides inside of you, then I believe it isn't something you fall into or out of, it isn't something that dies or should ever be used as a manipulative tool......because of how powerful it really is.  Think about how it is used..............I love my wife, I love my kids, I love my car, I love my job, I love to hike, I love choc

Well it looks like it is that time for me.  That time in life when a child leaves your home and embarks on a journey all their own.  I knew this day would come the first time I saw her beautiful perfect face.  I knew soon she would be on her own creating the life she wanted.  I NEVER thought the years would fly by.   ~Wise parents teach their children to get along without them~ While I am going to miss her presence, it provides me with new opportunities to find myself, take care of just me and continue to grow.  It allows me to watch all of what I have taught her put into action.  It allows me to see the places that I stumbled in parenting (those will be the things she insists will not be a part of her life anymore~good for her!!).  It will allow her to trust more and more in herself.  I am so happy for her and so at peace with her decision.  I am also proud of myself that I didn't allow my fears and my selfishness to spill over to her.  Everyone has their own shit they a

This is true for everything in life......relationships/marriages, health, exercise, play, etc.  You know what I'm talking about January 1, when you vow to lose 20 pounds, eat healthier and exercise.  When you get married and vow your love and dedication to another.  After a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend and you vow to be better and try harder.  When you vow to listen to yourself and believe in YOU.  In the beginning you almost feel like Superman you can see your vision and you are more determined than ever to get to the end result.  You can't wait to embark on your journey and for the first couple of days you are in your Zen and you can feel it transpiring.  Well then why is it you always seem to end up gaining more weight than you lose?  You end up in more arguments.  You end up feeling even worse about yourself.  Well you had great intentions......but gave up on yourself.          This is true for all relationships, even your relationship with yourself!