BIG BAD BULLY

Hmm....today I have seen and heard so much on bullying, I decided to research the subject and then to write my feelings.  The more I see and read about kids and bullying, the more I could see the same behavior in adults.  Do adults really bully?  Of course they do, where do you think the children learn it!!!  It is a learned behavior.
When bullies bully, it has nothing to do with you!!!! BY ALL MEANS.......DON'T TAKE IT!!
 
Are you the bully or the victim in your relationships?  I ran across a list of bullies.  Check it out and see if you relate........

·  The Rage Bully-the one that has frequent outbursts, can be very unpredictable, scary and violent.

Source:  Usually a parent that would fly off the handle not knowing how to handle stress,  disappointment, etc.

 

·  The Name-Calling Bully-the one that uses terms like four eyes, puts others down;   clothing, appearance, abilities.

Source:  from a parent that knew exactly what name or put down would hurt the child/spouse the  most. 

 

·  The Silent Treatment Bully-(silent but just as aggressive) withdrawing and shutting out their partners-leaving them alone and feeling abandoned.

Source: this is a message you hear from your parents loud and clear without a word being spoken. Also could be learned by living with a rage bully.  

 

·  The Body Language Bully-the ones that give off vibes or that look or just their presence  makes others uncomfortable.

Source: This is a stealth like strategy that was used to get them through.

 

·  The Temper-Tantrum Bully-one who resorts to negative child like behavior.

Source: this is a very manipulative way of bullying as one makes other thinks they are hindering their happiness.

 

·  The Control Freak Bully-the one that knows what is best for everyone else.

Source:  controlling parents, the child grows thinking they have to make everything perfect to avoid criticism or disappointment.

 

·  The Money Bully-usually the one that has the most or makes the most money.  The money is  spent on themselves first and they ALWAYS get the best and then complain how the money is spent on other things, groceries, household items, etc. 

Source: usually by parents who neglected or ignored them.  Making them feel invisible. Parents that used money as a weapon.

 

·  The Passive-Aggressive Bully-the one that will do the complete opposite of what their  spouse likes/wants to punish them.

Source: comes from rage parents who did "sneaky" things to avoid confrontation Children are afraid to stand up for themselves against their parent afraid to stand up for themselves.

 

·  The Guilt-Trip Bully-the one that uses "don't worry about me I'll be fine" line.  The parents -No, I don't need anything, I'm used to doing everything for myself since you kids moved away:.

Source:  parents who dominated and made you feel inferior, robbing you of your voice.

So which one best fits your childhood?  Which one(s) best describe you in your current relationships with others?  Your spouse, boy/girlfriend, friends, boss, co-workers.   I was raised with three types of bullying in my home......the silent treatment bully, the body language bully and the control freak bully.  I became the body language and control freak bully.  Funny, I truly despise the silent treatment bully. Hmmm.   I acknowledge this and am working diligently in letting go of the pain, fear and low self-esteem that I held on to. It is very important to me and I hope to you, to recognize what you are doing to others (and to yourself and change this behavior!!!!  We are not born to bully, we learn it!!! Re-teach yourself the lesson.  MOST IMPORTANTLY........instead of being the victim stand up for yourself.....you deserve so much more.