I AM GRATEFUL

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for the people in my life!

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SOUL PURPOSE

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I have found lately that all of the turmoil my mind has caused me was in a desperate attempt to find out my purpose and reason to be a participant in this world.  Was I here to save the whales?  Find a cure for cancer?  Was I important enough to have a purpose......I mean I hear it all the time that everyone has a purpose.  I was finding that I was becoming increasingly anxious in finding out what I was here to do, I mean what if it had eluded me for so long that I have wasted my time doing something I shouldn't have been doing?  I don't want to have to start over again, to have to come back and repeat the pain when I could have just done it this time around. So I have been asking and asking and then so defeated when it doesn't come back quickly.  I know that the answer has been there and given to me over and over.  I was just looking for more or a different answer I guess.   I found that purpose doesn't necessarily come from what you...
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Have you ever wanted to fit in so badly, you lose yourself completely?   My desire for acceptance started as far back as when I was 7.  I wanted the acceptance from my brother.  I would beg to go fishing and hunting with him and my dad.  My father always let me go, however my brother NEVER embraced the idea and teased me endlessly.  By the time I was in the sixth grade, not only was I striving to get the best grades (just like him), but I was playing every “boy” sport there was to participate in.  I became a tom boy and it was then that I started to lose myself.  In the 7 th grade, I cut my waist length hair to my shoulders and after my father saw it, he wouldn’t speak to me for days.  Little did I know the effect the two most important men in my life would have on me, by the age of 13, neither accepted me and that is when I believed I was not enough.  I have dealt with countless men who have  put me down, threatened, hara...
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