Mirror, mirror on the wall........
ALL OF MY FAILURES HAVE BEEN SUCCESSES! Every mistake I make allows me to grow and evolve as long as I recognize and appreciate.
Every person in my life act as a mirror to me and show me if I look deep enough exactly what I am doing in life. They provide me a glimpse of myself from the outside in. As I sit and look at my life, I realize I have lived for so long staring in the mirror and choosing not to see the goodness that those in my life represent and show, but focusing and obsessing on the negative. This is so telling of what goes on inside of me.... I find myself ugly, weak and so fucking afraid. I run away from myself, my wants, my desires and what truly makes me happy. This is evident from the lines that have formed on my face, the sadness and heaviness in my eyes and the constant whirlwind that lives in my chest and stomach. Yet, when I look past the images in the mirror that are ugly and negative I see love, those in my life that support me, believe in me, see the beauty inside. I feel softer, peaceful and full of joy.
I have worked so hard trying to fix those in the mirror, never stopping to fix the issue inside. I'm tired. Tired of the time and energy spent on trying to fix something I have absolutely zero control over. Fixing the inside of me will allow me to look in the mirror and see nothing but beauty.
With this in mind, I thank each and every one of you that have shown me both the negative and positive thoughts I have inside. I am forever grateful that you never left and remind me that I haven't forgotten myself either. We are all works in progress and it is about time I work on fixing the real issues inside and begin loving me. The past has brought me a great deal of stress, however it is in the past and I look forward to the future and know the past doesn't have to repeat itself, for I have the strength and desire to live in the now! For that one friend that told me years ago that I think too much...............you are so right. Life doesn't have to be so hard.
PS. I have often wondered what it meant.......to sit in the emotion, for me it means to allow the heaviness and uneasiness inside to pass with no judgment or need to fix, just be aware.
Every person in my life act as a mirror to me and show me if I look deep enough exactly what I am doing in life. They provide me a glimpse of myself from the outside in. As I sit and look at my life, I realize I have lived for so long staring in the mirror and choosing not to see the goodness that those in my life represent and show, but focusing and obsessing on the negative. This is so telling of what goes on inside of me.... I find myself ugly, weak and so fucking afraid. I run away from myself, my wants, my desires and what truly makes me happy. This is evident from the lines that have formed on my face, the sadness and heaviness in my eyes and the constant whirlwind that lives in my chest and stomach. Yet, when I look past the images in the mirror that are ugly and negative I see love, those in my life that support me, believe in me, see the beauty inside. I feel softer, peaceful and full of joy.
I have worked so hard trying to fix those in the mirror, never stopping to fix the issue inside. I'm tired. Tired of the time and energy spent on trying to fix something I have absolutely zero control over. Fixing the inside of me will allow me to look in the mirror and see nothing but beauty.
With this in mind, I thank each and every one of you that have shown me both the negative and positive thoughts I have inside. I am forever grateful that you never left and remind me that I haven't forgotten myself either. We are all works in progress and it is about time I work on fixing the real issues inside and begin loving me. The past has brought me a great deal of stress, however it is in the past and I look forward to the future and know the past doesn't have to repeat itself, for I have the strength and desire to live in the now! For that one friend that told me years ago that I think too much...............you are so right. Life doesn't have to be so hard.
PS. I have often wondered what it meant.......to sit in the emotion, for me it means to allow the heaviness and uneasiness inside to pass with no judgment or need to fix, just be aware.
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