RELATIONSHIPS

Do you yearn for a healthy relationship?  For a lasting relationship?  Do you wonder why you don't have one?  What is wrong with you?  The answer, pretty simple..................YOU'RE A LIAR!  Whether you lie to yourself or to others, until you begin to tell your truth to yourself and others, you will continue to search and search, either settling (which will eventually lead to a break-up) or going through one person after another.  

Relationships differ from couple to couple.  Some can deal and compromise with situations that others would set as their deal breaker.  But the one thing that will definitely kill a relationship every time is lying.  But like I said there are two liars..............the self liar, which holds back on their truth trying to please the other.  Like the girl that meets a guy, the guy indicates early on that he is looking for a casual friend, a hook-up.  The girl goes along with this even though in her mind she wants a long lasting relationship, all along figuring if she continues with the casual hook-up, the guy will eventually find out how wonderful she is and stick around for a lifetime.  Or the guy that tells the girl he wants marriage, a house, kids, etc, yet lies to her and cheats her of his time because in reality he wants to be single, but doesn't want to commit right now.  In both of these scenarios, you can see one person tells the truth the other lies and ultimately both will fail.  But in both scenarios the liar is lying not only to another but to themselves.  

Lying to yourself is also CHOOSING not to recognize the signs of a liar.  I have talked about this before, if you have to constantly say I'm sorry or be told someone else is sorry, cut them loose and never look back.  For that is a huge sign of pain and ugliness to come.  Actions speak louder than words, if someone has messed up and you have given them a second chance, DO NOT believe their words, watch their actions.  

So how do you know if you're lying to yourself?  Do you make excuses for others, do you change your beliefs and wants to fit the person/people you are around.  Do you listen to your heart or your ego?  What is important to you in a healthy relationship?  Love, trust, respect or Money, being right, control?  Are you willing to settle for someone or something that you know isn't right, just to have someone?  Do you trust in someone's words and turn a blind eye to their actions?  

How do you know if someone is lying to you?  Their actions don't match their words, the people they surround themselves with, their past, they make promises they don't keep.  Nowadays, they won't show you their phones, their messages, their pictures, etc.  They run and hide, the pit in your gut, other's opinions or stories.  This is the type of person you do not want to become and you do not want to pair up with.  

So start with loving yourself, knowing what you want (unless you're under the age of 23-you know what you want) and following it, no matter the consequences.  Cutting the liars out of your life and surrounding yourself with people that think the same way you do.  Never settling for anything other than what you want.  Telling the truth to others and yourself.  Respecting yourself, which includes asking yourself the question, would I want to spend my life with someone like me...........(for all you egomaniacs out there, if you're only looking at your positives and what you have to offer (monetary) then the answer is definitely no.  When you are honest with yourself, people feel it and trust in you is something they give because it's genuine.  

Life is too short to lie, because it will continue to follow you until it comes out one way or another, through a break up or self loathing.  It is never too late to be honest with yourself and know you are worthy of only the best.


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