BOUNDARIES
Do you establish and maintain boundaries? Or do you agree with others, even when you don't, remember even when you don't say anything, other's will feel as though you agree-use your voice. Concealing your true feelings. Saying no. Pushing yourself. Doing too much for others. Co-dependent, getting value from others. Not listening to your body. Ignoring your needs for others. Keeping those you truly love at a distance. Playing too much. Working too much. Do you use addictions or compulsions to avoid yourself?
Boundaries are a big challenge, the reason you don't stand behind your boundaries? Because you feel you're not worthy to keep them. Ask yourself if any of the 10 statements below are true for you?
1. I lie about my feelings if the truth might upset someone.
2. I want people to sense it when I've had enough
3. I go blank or answer with I don't know when i''m asked what i want or what i think
4. My to-do list includes things that i don't want to do.
5. I eat, cry, lie, drink or drug when I'm angry.
6. I sometimes feel drained and then i blow up and feel guilty.
7. I feel panicking when i feel i have let someone down.
8. I feel great when i over ride my own needs for someone else needs.
9. I feel resentful when doing things for others.
10. I complain about other people's needs and demands when they're not around.
Three or more resonate with you? If so, you kind of suck with boundaries.
****************************************************
1. I lie about my feelings if the truth might upset someone
You hurt yourself and others more and more when you lie, regardless. Lies will always catch up with you and sooner or later you will answer for them. While it might seem like a quick fix, it also means you feel you don't deserve honesty or respect in your own life.
2. I want people to sense it when I've had enough
Don't we all want this. Wouldn't it be great if everyone could read our thoughts, however this isn't so. It is our own inherent responsibility to honestly and compassionately take care of our own needs. Everyone has different breaking points. Learn to honor yourself and ask for what you need and speak up to the things you don't need in your life.
3. I go blank or answer with I don't know when asked what you want or what you think
You have probably gotten to a point where you are so busy taking care of everyone else, that you can't even remember what makes YOU happy or what it is you truly desire. Great indicator that you need to get back to you!!
4. My to-do list includes things that i don't want to do
SPEAK UP AND LEARN TO SAY NO!! If you do not learn how to incorporate no into your vocabulary, you will continue to be the doormat that everyone wipes their feet on!!
5. I eat, cry, lie, drink or drug when I'm angry
This one has a huge, ugly, ripple effect. Never indulge in the negative!!!!!
6. I sometimes feel drained and then i blow up and feel guilty
True indicator that you have spread yourself way too thin trying to please everyone. This usually happens when you are trying to accomplish everything for others, the more you give to others without giving to yourself the more you will become drained and ultimately a physical ailment will step in.
7. I feel panicking when i feel i have let someone down
Get over it!!! Not everyone is going to be happy with your decisions (especially those that use the hell out of you). Life is about learning, you will disappoint many and many will disappoint you!!! Life is an individual journey and maybe your ability to say no is actually the blessing they have needed. Maybe it will teach them to live their own life.
8. I feel great when I ignore my own needs for someone else needs
Great way (or excuse) to take responsibility for your own life. So many times this leads you to feel as though your happiness just isn't as important. Which eventually leads you to believe that your self-sacrifice for others makes you important!! Wrong, it makes you a dumbass. I am a firm believer in giving, it is an act that fills us up emotionally, however, it is not your job to take the responsibility of taking care of oneself away from another because it makes you feel good.
9. I feel resentful when doing things for others
Then STOP!!! Again saying no is a great way to stop the resentful feeling.
10. I complain about other people's needs and demands when they're not around
Accept responsibility for your inability to know how to set and maintain boundaries. NOBODY can take advantage/manipulate you without your consent. OWN IT!
Start setting and maintaining boundaries in your life and watch the stress in your life fall away. Today is the day!!!
Comments
Post a Comment