Who are you?

At times do you even know?  Do you find your beliefs, actions, and thoughts change depending on who or what is in front of you?  Do you have a solid foundation of what you believe to be right and wrong?  With this foundation, do you stand up for these beliefs regardless of who you may offend?

I remember in high school, wanting so desperately to fit in that my beliefs and actions changed almost daily.  As I was unsure of who or what I was.  I allowed other's to dictate that for me.  What a very painful part of life.  I felt it was a necessity to try and please everyone, in actuality I was seeking acceptance.  Therefore, I was living the old cliche - if you don't believe in anything you will fall for everything.  I never felt accepted, I never felt fulfilled, I sat and watched others, listened to their stories (which were usually filled with bullshit), my mind changed and that's who I wanted to be. I would start wearing clothes like them, listen to their music, talk like them and begin to treat others like they did, and it never felt right.  You see as long as I wasn't honest enough with myself to figure out "who I really was" and learn to accept me, I would continue to live unhappy and lost.  

When I moved into my 20's, and watched as the friends from high school went their separate ways, I started to examine me and what I wanted.  I realized that I really wanted the opposite of what I was searching for in high school.  I wanted people to be kind, respectful, and loving.  I wanted people to not feel lonely anymore and I wanted to help others, rather than being the one that lied, made excuses, bullied, and hurt others.  I realized that now that I was on my own, that the power existed inside.  I began to see a transformation inside as well as a sense of self-power.  As long as I was honest and had good intentions in life, I could make this work.  

In my 40's I look back and realize there was a lot of resistance from others.  I encountered (and still do, liars and bullies).  At times, I fought for what was right in a overly-aggressive manner, but all the time checking to see if I was following the crowd or staying true to myself.  Contrary to popular belief, I don't like confrontation, just as much as the next guy.  However, I will not stand quiet if I see someone being an "ass" to someone else or to me!  I know who I am and I know what I believe in.  Funny, I find I'm pretty damn simple.  I believe in and always taught my daughter to "treat others how you want to be treated".  

So who are you?  Are your actions and the words the same?