COMMUNICATION

So, let's say there is a girl and boy and they  talk on the phone, text each other, and periodically see each other.  The girl is crazy for the boy, but unsure whether the boy feels the same way. The girl continues to check her phone, anxiously awaiting a text, call or voice mail.  With the ding of her phone, she flips the phone over and reads the five or six word text from the boy and her heart is all a flutter.  She waits for another, knowing that it will be later, if she's really lucky it might be a telephone call. This goes on day after day, every now and again she throws her own text his way, hoping to spark something more, but to no avail!!  For you see she has given him the message that the way things are going are just fine with her.  For all he knows, this is all she wants from him.

But you see this girl feels stuck and she would like to the see the relationship move into a more committed place.  She confides in her friends that she wishes he would do more, say more, tell her he wants to run away with her, etc, but, the routine remains the same.  The friends tell her, "Hell don't wait on him, tell him what you want." Fear sets in and once again she settles, wishing and hoping that today will be the day he tells her what she wants to hear.  It doesn't happen...........POOR LITTLE GIRL!!!!

Really?!!??!!!  It's time to pull up your big girl panties and start speaking your truth.  But how do i do that thinks the girl.  Well, let me tell you.  

First-figure out what it is that you want, what are you looking for from the other person, clarity on your relationship?  If he feels the same way?  Progression?  There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want all the way to marriage~it is important however, to take the appropriate steps in sharing it with another person.  I mean you may not want to blurt out the first five minutes in a date~I love you (lots o red flags there).  A warm thank you and I'd love to see you again might be appropriate.  Figure out what the next step is to you with where you are at.

Second-make the decision within that you are going to clearly communicate your desires and how you would like the relationship to progress.  Not sure?  See step one.  Be prepared you may be the only one right now ready to make the next step.  HOWEVER!!! you may be surprised and he was waiting for you all along. Men are funny creatures...........sometimes they need help!!!  Write it down on a piece of paper if you have to and read it to the other person.  It is very easy to start out with great intentions of being direct and then allowing fear to take over and lead you away from what you want.  

Third-Be prepared and open to compromise (if you want to compromise).  Also, be opened and be prepared to begin to take the next step.

To often, people don't communicate what they want directly to another, they either get mad because they believe the other should just know or fear keeps them hoping the other will say it first.  So many people beat around the bush.  Yes, I know I have a tendency to be blunt, but I've also played the passive communication game, it went something like this.

At a movie, half an hour into it I was bored and uninterested.  (OP=Other Person)

Me:   This movie isn't very good. - passive
OP:   I think it's funny.
Me:   [Thinking in my head]-Really?  You didn't get that hint, seriously your humor sucks. This                 isn't funny at all
OP:   Laughter.
Me:   Fuming, watching the time slowly click backwards, fidgeting in my seat.
OP:   Yawns.
Me:   [Seizes the opportunity].  Let's go!  I'm so over this movie. - direct.
OP:  Let me watch this part and then we'll go. 
Me:   I can live with that. - compromise
CONCLUSION-the minute "that part" was over-we were out!!!
OP:  Why didn't you just say you wanted to go earlier, we could have left I didn't think it was that            great.
ME:  LEARNED A LESSON>

Know what you want the next step to be and then ask directly!!  Waiting for the other puts a gap between wanting and receiving.  Narrow the gap by asking - you have that right.