TODAY

How do you see yourself today? Do you look to your past for answers?  Do you look to what you think will make you happy?  Or are you strong enough to take each minute of each day knowing that your past is nothing more than a reminder, a lesson of how to move forward, what not to do, what to do more of ?  Do you take the moment (this one right now) and appreciate where you are at, what you have learned and know that you are equipped to only get better?  Or do you fall back into the same situation? 

I look at my past and realize the mistakes I made, the people I hurt, the bullshit my loved ones have had to endure because of my inability to take responsibility for my choices.  Too often, when I look back I see how many times, I continued to make excuses for myself, i.e., I did this for your own good, I knew better, people are unfair, I deserve this, etc. I am so blessed to be able to be at a point in my life where I look to the past and am able to see where I stumbled, where I got stuck, and even more important, where I made choices that improved my ability to be the best person I could be.  I am very proud of whom I've become.  I know that the good and the bad made me even better today. 

I am so very grateful for my friends and family who have stuck behind me every minute of my transformation, rejoicing in my accomplishments, taking the bullshit they had to endure because of my uncertainties, the never ending complaining, victim playing, poor me  role I played...............yet all along none of them ever strayed, they are true loving people that want nothing but the best for me.  I owe it to myself and to them to want that for myself.  My personal struggles and accomplishments have been enhanced by the powerful goodness that comes from the those around me. 

My past is something I can never change or go back to (for it is my past), however it has allowed me to realize how to make today even better.