I CHOOSE
Do you have that innate ability to shrug things off? To allow issues and problems to roll off of your back? To throw your hands up and avert your attention elsewhere? Well if you do, let me say I am in total awe.
I find myself once again (isn't life grand how it continues to teach) in the midst of someone else's demise. Yes, I know it is my choice and I continue to work every day on not allowing other's "stuff" to affect my life. When it comes to some, I fail miserably......................but I keep trying. Writing and getting it out helps a whole bunch.
I think having an attachment and emotions to something that you can't control is one of the hardest things to do. (Don't get me wrong, when I'm on the outside it seems like the easiest thing and any of you that have talked with me know that to be my philosophy). But damn, when you are in the middle of it and can see it, feel and sense it, shaking it off is one of the hardest things to do. I was actually told this morning, well what can you do? Of course, my stubbornness and emotions thought, "Yeah if only it was that easy". But at the same time I know they are words of wisdom and the longer I sit with the feeling of dread, fear for another it weighs heavily on my shoulders. I believe seeing someone struggle helps me solidify in my mind that my controlling nature is needed (NOT). I have the power and choose to lift the uneasy feeling I have surrounded myself with and quietly move away from it.
Right now my heart is heavy for what is about to come your way. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I find myself once again (isn't life grand how it continues to teach) in the midst of someone else's demise. Yes, I know it is my choice and I continue to work every day on not allowing other's "stuff" to affect my life. When it comes to some, I fail miserably......................but I keep trying. Writing and getting it out helps a whole bunch.
I think having an attachment and emotions to something that you can't control is one of the hardest things to do. (Don't get me wrong, when I'm on the outside it seems like the easiest thing and any of you that have talked with me know that to be my philosophy). But damn, when you are in the middle of it and can see it, feel and sense it, shaking it off is one of the hardest things to do. I was actually told this morning, well what can you do? Of course, my stubbornness and emotions thought, "Yeah if only it was that easy". But at the same time I know they are words of wisdom and the longer I sit with the feeling of dread, fear for another it weighs heavily on my shoulders. I believe seeing someone struggle helps me solidify in my mind that my controlling nature is needed (NOT). I have the power and choose to lift the uneasy feeling I have surrounded myself with and quietly move away from it.
Right now my heart is heavy for what is about to come your way. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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