Hello~Are you listening?
I was asked to write on another topic~COMMUNICATION!!!!!! Great topic.....................thank you my friend!
Communication is exchanging, which means it takes two! Some of us are better talkers than listeners (I happen to fall into this category). I can talk and talk and talk some more (probably the reason for my blog.....heehee) until I realize I'm the one doing all the talking. Yet, when I listen, I hear. I found that is something I forgot to do in the past. It was like all I wanted to do was hear myself talk (apparently I was pretty impressed with myself.....AND I am pretty opinionated~whoa, wait did I just say that! OUCH), but I found the more I stopped and really listened to the other person, the more I learned, the less stress and frustrated I became. Because you see when you are a talker or when you are a "really good" listener and you forget to be both, you tend to forget the exchanging part of communication.
Even the best "talker" can't read someone else's mind and if you don't communicate back, the talker usually will assume, which can lead to problems. For some it isn't as easy to communicate and sometimes prodding is appreciated. I have those in my life that at times I feel as though I have to pull things from them. Eventually, the pull doesn't take so long and they seem to step up sooner with their thoughts, desires, and opinions.
Communication can be tricky, depending on what kind of communicator you are............with my daughter I could communicate my disappointment and frustration with just my eyes, usually with immediate results. In stressful situations, I find my way of communication was done flippantly and sarcastically. If I'm excited, my mouth can go 100 miles a minute. When I'm mad, I'm usually biting my tongue and allowing all the ugly words to play through my mind........I have paid the price one to many times, by not thinking before I opened my mouth! But at least you know what I'm thinking, all you have to do is ask!! I promise I will tell you.
Sometimes communication of an issue can take a few discussions to get through the "bullshit", the crap that we sugar coat things with. We've all been there, you know when you don't want to hurt the other persons feelings, or you are unsure how they will handle what you have to say, so you fluff it up so much that the fluff usually has to be hashed over until you get to the "gut" of the problem. STOP with the fluff. Say what is in your head on your mind with respect and compassion, taking responsibility for your opinion and everything else will fall into place.
One very important thing about communication~listening!!!!!! Don't assume you know what the person is talking about, don't make things up, don't put words in their mouths. Listen and if you are unsure, by all means ASK. Discuss it until you both understand what is being said. This goes for personal relationships as well as careers. Our egos sometimes have a way of getting in the way and clouding our ability to really hear someone. It isn't fair to you or the other person for you to decide what they mean.
Communication is a great thing, be that great talker and also that extra great listener. I always say KNOWLEDGE is power. Learn from someone today by ~listening~.
Communication is exchanging, which means it takes two! Some of us are better talkers than listeners (I happen to fall into this category). I can talk and talk and talk some more (probably the reason for my blog.....heehee) until I realize I'm the one doing all the talking. Yet, when I listen, I hear. I found that is something I forgot to do in the past. It was like all I wanted to do was hear myself talk (apparently I was pretty impressed with myself.....AND I am pretty opinionated~whoa, wait did I just say that! OUCH), but I found the more I stopped and really listened to the other person, the more I learned, the less stress and frustrated I became. Because you see when you are a talker or when you are a "really good" listener and you forget to be both, you tend to forget the exchanging part of communication.
Even the best "talker" can't read someone else's mind and if you don't communicate back, the talker usually will assume, which can lead to problems. For some it isn't as easy to communicate and sometimes prodding is appreciated. I have those in my life that at times I feel as though I have to pull things from them. Eventually, the pull doesn't take so long and they seem to step up sooner with their thoughts, desires, and opinions.
Communication can be tricky, depending on what kind of communicator you are............with my daughter I could communicate my disappointment and frustration with just my eyes, usually with immediate results. In stressful situations, I find my way of communication was done flippantly and sarcastically. If I'm excited, my mouth can go 100 miles a minute. When I'm mad, I'm usually biting my tongue and allowing all the ugly words to play through my mind........I have paid the price one to many times, by not thinking before I opened my mouth! But at least you know what I'm thinking, all you have to do is ask!! I promise I will tell you.
Sometimes communication of an issue can take a few discussions to get through the "bullshit", the crap that we sugar coat things with. We've all been there, you know when you don't want to hurt the other persons feelings, or you are unsure how they will handle what you have to say, so you fluff it up so much that the fluff usually has to be hashed over until you get to the "gut" of the problem. STOP with the fluff. Say what is in your head on your mind with respect and compassion, taking responsibility for your opinion and everything else will fall into place.
One very important thing about communication~listening!!!!!! Don't assume you know what the person is talking about, don't make things up, don't put words in their mouths. Listen and if you are unsure, by all means ASK. Discuss it until you both understand what is being said. This goes for personal relationships as well as careers. Our egos sometimes have a way of getting in the way and clouding our ability to really hear someone. It isn't fair to you or the other person for you to decide what they mean.
Communication is a great thing, be that great talker and also that extra great listener. I always say KNOWLEDGE is power. Learn from someone today by ~listening~.
I happen to be a lot like you in the area being the talker. My husband will often ask "Are you talking or saying blah, blah, blah?". I talk extremely fast, as my dad would tell me to breath. But how do you get someone to talk to you on a real level, gut, "this is how I feel" level, or just tell me what's going on with them, if they just don't? I'm like you in a lot of the same ways you've described, I'll tell you everything, but it seems harder than pulling teeth, to get the one person I want to talk to me in the whole world, to do just that...talk to me, tell me things? Probbing doesn't work, asking questions doesn't either. In fact he's the master of not answering questions, or answering them with a question EVERY time.
ReplyDeleteAny ideas, and yes he loves to dance!
What you said about this topic is so very true, love it!
ReplyDeleteI love you! There are no words to describe how this so resonates with me. However, I am confident you know all about it. I too forget to listen, often, because(oh and here come the excuses) I am always in a hurry to get to the next thing and if I hold this information in my head too long I have serious anxiety about completing it what ever it is either personal or professional. Thanks for reminding all of us to LISTEN!
ReplyDelete