Betrayal
I was asked by a dear friend to write about Betrayal!!!! Wow what a word, it can mean so many things and situations.
I sat with myself and tried to reflect on moments in my life where I had felt betrayed. I was seventeen and felt the most utter form of betrayal (it is still in the top three out of about five times I think I have felt betrayed). I have been lied to, stolen from, and double crossed, however now of these come close to the inner turmoil betrayal stirred within.
To me betrayal comes from someone in my life that I trust and respect with every ounce of my being. A person important enough in my life that I treat as family, including family. Someone that I put full belief into, someone that I never think twice about helping, as I feel as though I am as important to them. Even these "people" have lied to me and stolen from me, yet I was able to work through it.
Betrayal is an act of "selfishness" and "immaturity". Getting a quick fix regardless of who you hurt and/or how deeply. With betrayal comes pain, shame, anger, trust issues (you name it). The betrayal that happened at 17 had lasting effects, we were never "friends" again. This could be due to the fact that this so called bestie never accepted responsibility or acknowledged it in anyway. All of the negative feelings eventually turned to sadness. Not for me, but for her, she lost one hell of a great person to have in her life :).
Two years ago, I was in the same sort of situation, different people, different issue, but same feelings. Once again, I let another person move out of my life, yet this time, the feelings were easier to deal with. Instead of wondering what I did, I focused on my positives and pushed the insecurities of the other back on them. I have enough of my own negative behavior to work on and handle I don't need to try to deal with others by ignoring their improper behavior. Once again while I miss our friendship, I realize I am happier and better off.
I choose to surround myself with people I love and trust.
I sat with myself and tried to reflect on moments in my life where I had felt betrayed. I was seventeen and felt the most utter form of betrayal (it is still in the top three out of about five times I think I have felt betrayed). I have been lied to, stolen from, and double crossed, however now of these come close to the inner turmoil betrayal stirred within.
To me betrayal comes from someone in my life that I trust and respect with every ounce of my being. A person important enough in my life that I treat as family, including family. Someone that I put full belief into, someone that I never think twice about helping, as I feel as though I am as important to them. Even these "people" have lied to me and stolen from me, yet I was able to work through it.
Betrayal is an act of "selfishness" and "immaturity". Getting a quick fix regardless of who you hurt and/or how deeply. With betrayal comes pain, shame, anger, trust issues (you name it). The betrayal that happened at 17 had lasting effects, we were never "friends" again. This could be due to the fact that this so called bestie never accepted responsibility or acknowledged it in anyway. All of the negative feelings eventually turned to sadness. Not for me, but for her, she lost one hell of a great person to have in her life :).
Two years ago, I was in the same sort of situation, different people, different issue, but same feelings. Once again, I let another person move out of my life, yet this time, the feelings were easier to deal with. Instead of wondering what I did, I focused on my positives and pushed the insecurities of the other back on them. I have enough of my own negative behavior to work on and handle I don't need to try to deal with others by ignoring their improper behavior. Once again while I miss our friendship, I realize I am happier and better off.
I choose to surround myself with people I love and trust.
Wow, I think I know that kind of betrayal you are talking about and it happened to me at about that same age, by, maybe the same person. Well, I think by 2 close friends, and the fact they knew we knew & never attempted to show any reqret was painful. I'm so sorry you had to live through that pain again a couple years ago, I hate nothing more than to have people I truly care about hurting! But, again, Wow, I applaud you for your positive attitude and my hat is off to you for the excellent way you handled it!!! It's an inspiration just to hear that, that takes a strong person to do what you did. If faced with that again, for me, I hope to be that strong, no matter how painful!! But I am truly sorry for your loss there, and for the pain you went through, I hope you know that. It sucked all those years ago, and it sucks every time it cuts that deep.
ReplyDeleteThank you my friend!